Topics in NICU & Special Needs Babies
While it is hard for new moms to balance taking care of a newborn, themselves, and other children / family members, this becomes very challenging with a baby in the hospital. Some moms struggle with the need for sleep as well as the need for being in the NICU with their baby. Some families have a hard time finding care for younger children who are at home. Additionally, many women don’t receive very much time off of work to have a baby – paid or not paid. Some families have to make difficult decisions about when to return to work. Right now the system isn’t set up to help new families. Fortunately, families are often very creative and find ways to make things work. But we see you and we understand this is hard.
Here are some quotes with advice from moms who have experienced having a baby in a NICU.
- Remind yourself you are doing what you can, be gentle with yourself
- Listen to nurses and others when they suggest a break or going to get something to eat
- “Take care of yourself. That’s the biggest thing. Drink water. Sometimes I forget. Make sure you eat. Some days I just didn’t feel like eating, but I would make myself eat at least a little bit. And really just notice nature and beauty. Just recognize things…”
- “You realize how much you want to be near your baby, but spending so much time on the hospital floor where so much is going on, it is easy to forget to take care of yourself. So I think just taking a step back and going outside, even if it’s for a few minutes, just to get – breathe in some fresh air to come back in. Do that.”
- “You know what? I know this is difficult for you. I’ve been where you are. You just take a break for yourself even if you just go out just to see the sun for a few minutes.”
- Connect with other NICU moms – it will help get “inside information” about how to navigate the NICU, and it can help to talk to someone who understands your experience. At the same time, it is hard to not compare yourself with other mothers or your baby’s progress with that of other babies. Every mother and every baby is unique and on their own NICU journey.
- It’s a roller coaster – know that there are likely to be ups and downs, and one minute it looks like baby is doing well enough to go home and the next there’s a setback. Seek support: many moms found they needed support most when baby was suddenly doing worse than expected
- Accept help – it can be hard for women who are used to taking care of themselves and everyone else, but people who care want to help, accept it:
- “If anybody is offering to do something for you right now say ‘yes’ because your body has just been through trauma. You’ve got so much going through your brain right now, especially if you have other children.”
- Don’t be afraid to ask the nursing staff to be involved in baby care to the degree you feel comfortable and that is safe for baby
- Know what you can and can’t handle in the moment – take things off your plate
Resources to explore:
- The Australian parenting website has some good tips on self-care for mothers with babies in intensive care nurseries
- Lucie’s List has good tips for NICU parents as well as tips for when baby comes home.
- Addressing maternal feeling of guilt
