4th Trimester Project

A Village for Mothers

When “Hello” Means “Goodbye”

Not all pregnancies end the way families hope they will. Stillbirths and miscarriages are under reported and happen more often than most people know. Some women have to make difficult decisions in early pregnancy if they are carrying multiples. Sometimes one twin might survive and one might not. Some babies are born too early to live and others are born with health conditions that even specialists can’t make better.

After the loss of a child - no matter when it happens in a pregnancy or beyond - it is natural to feel a wide range of emotions. Plans to bring home baby and watching your baby grow can no longer come true. Memories of decisions made can be difficult to manage. No matter the events surrounding your loss, you may have many feelings including sadness and maybe anger. These emotions can be hard to begin to understand. It is important to take the time to think about what your baby meant to you and how you feel now. Having to say hello and goodbye is a difficult thing to do. The information in this section will provide some helpful tips to help women and their families transition through this time. You may feel alone but you are part of a community of women who have experienced this journey as well.

Topics in Loss

Postpartum Visit After Loss

Mar 31, 2023
A postpartum appointment after a loss is used to make sure that you are recovering from the birth. Your provider may talk with you about how you feel physically, discuss genetic test results, birth control options, and if and when you might want to try again. This can be a difficult conversation. But having a […]

Postpartum Visit After Loss

A postpartum appointment after a loss is used to make sure that you are recovering from the birth. Your provider may talk with you about how you feel physically, discuss genetic test results, birth control options, and if and when you might want to try again. This can be a difficult conversation. But having a […]

Family Loss

Mar 31, 2023
Family Loss Each member of your family experienced connections with your child differently. As a result, each family member may go through the grieving process in a different way. To help each other grieve, build a safe space that promotes open communication, vulnerability, and mutual support. The loss of a young or unborn child is […]

Family Loss

Family Loss Each member of your family experienced connections with your child differently. As a result, each family member may go through the grieving process in a different way. To help each other grieve, build a safe space that promotes open communication, vulnerability, and mutual support. The loss of a young or unborn child is […]

Breast Care After Loss

Mar 31, 2023
Caring for your breast after the loss can be difficult. Here are some tips to help reduce pain and to stop milk production: For more details about breast care, pain, drying up for your milk, see the Breast section of our site. Resource: Breast Care After Your Baby Dies, DHHS

Breast Care After Loss

Caring for your breast after the loss can be difficult. Here are some tips to help reduce pain and to stop milk production: For more details about breast care, pain, drying up for your milk, see the Breast section of our site. Resource: Breast Care After Your Baby Dies, DHHS

Spirituality

Mar 31, 2023
For many, acknowledging the spiritual aspect of a loss is a part of the grief process. Questions about faith and spirituality are inevitable when you have a loss. You may notice that your faith is tested or challenged. Some people might find a lot of comfort in their faith community. Others may find that the […]

Spirituality

For many, acknowledging the spiritual aspect of a loss is a part of the grief process. Questions about faith and spirituality are inevitable when you have a loss. You may notice that your faith is tested or challenged. Some people might find a lot of comfort in their faith community. Others may find that the […]

Seeking Support

Mar 31, 2023
How are you? What can I do to help? Do you need anything? All questions that seem to flood your daily conversations. Everyone wants to help in one way or another. But for you, it can seem like an overwhelming feat to answer these seemingly simple questions. So you respond, “I’m fine.” Two simple words […]

Seeking Support

How are you? What can I do to help? Do you need anything? All questions that seem to flood your daily conversations. Everyone wants to help in one way or another. But for you, it can seem like an overwhelming feat to answer these seemingly simple questions. So you respond, “I’m fine.” Two simple words […]

First Conversations

Mar 31, 2023
You may have shared the news of your pregnancy with others or maybe you made the decision to keep it to yourself for a while. But now you have been given the news that your child is no longer with you. Hearing and feeling the words that your child no longer has a heartbeat can […]

First Conversations

You may have shared the news of your pregnancy with others or maybe you made the decision to keep it to yourself for a while. But now you have been given the news that your child is no longer with you. Hearing and feeling the words that your child no longer has a heartbeat can […]

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